Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Girl

• Free dinners.
• You can cry without pretending there's something in your contact.
• Speeding ticket? What's that?
• You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.
• If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being.
• A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
• In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.
• If you have to be home in time for Ally McBeal, you can say so, out loud.
• If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling.
• If you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup.
• If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser.
• You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
• Brad Pitt.
• You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.
• You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers.
• When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.
• If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, you don't have to break up with him.
• If you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him.
• If you don't shave, no one will know.
• If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
• You don't have to memorize Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore or Anchorman to fit in.
• You can dress yourself.
• Your hair is yours to keep.
• If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're really chic.
• You don't have to pretend to like cigars.
• You'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.
• If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.
• You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.
• You and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.
• If you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty.
• Sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need.
• Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.
• When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing.
• Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.
• If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.
• You'll never regret piercing your ears.
• You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her shoes.
• You'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra.
• You don't have hair on your back.
• If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.
• You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
• If you have big ears, no one has to know.
• You can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny.
• You can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on Jerry Springer.

 

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